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Big Rewards: Program benefits young and old participants

A rough childhood in Framingham got Justin Neal into some trouble, but thanks to 70-year-old Tom McNichol, his life turned around.

“I was really angry. I would act out in classes and get suspended. I got put in foster care, and then since I didn’t behave well there either, I got put in a group home,” Neal said. “But Tom wouldn’t give up on me. He came and visited me every chance he got, and if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be where I am now.”

The pair met in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, which is known to have helped children stay away from drugs and improve their schoolwork.

In this region, Big Brothers Big Sisters has been primarily known to the Worcester area, but in recent years, it has been expanding to MetroWest.

The MetroWest program has dramatically increased in the past three years from mentoring 412 kids to 1,046.

But a gender gap at Big Brothers Big Sisters has remained steady, with women making up 70 percent of volunteers.

“We are in need for more men mentors in our community-based programs,” said Melanie Perreault, director of program development for Big Brothers Big Sisters. “Our on-site programs, like the Boys and Girls Clubs, have many more male mentors because we recruit the local college sports teams like Holy Cross football and (Worcester Polytechnic Institute) and Assumption College’s basketball teams.”

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Neal said McNichol had encouraged him to always push for success. An education, McNichol told him, is what is going to make you succeed, and Neal did just that. Now a junior at Bentley, he was awarded the $20,000 Yawkey scholarship and the rest of his schooling is paid by Bentley.

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Neal blames his rebellion on not having a father.

“I acted out so that my mom would see that I was mad that I didn’t have a dad,” he said. “But then Tom came along and he didn’t take any of my crap.”

When McNichol first became Neal’s big brother, he was 50 and his own children were grown up.

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“I had the capacity to do something at the time and I wanted to help the kids who were being thrown to the streets in Boston,” McNichol said.

Neal and McNichol have been paired since Justin was 6, and even though Justin is too old for the program now, they keep in contact.

“Even in high school I would go over to Tom’s to just do my homework. He really pushed me to succeed. He would always incorporate these little life lessons into things that we did, like (the basketball game) HORSE. With every shot I took, Tom would say, ‘Sometimes it’s better to think a shot through instead of just doing it,”‘ Justin said, laughing.

McNichol said the best part of the program was watching Neal succeed.

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“I never thought that I would make it this far,” Neal said. “I graduated high school, I go to one of the best business schools, and I learned that if you want to change, you can. You have one life - you might as well live it.”

Even before the local program’s growth, it was home to some of the region’s longest matches between youths and mentors.

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“I think we have the highest rate because it gives (mentors) someplace to turn when they are faced with challenges,” said Barbara Gaffin, co-vice president of development at Big Brothers Big Sisters.

Brian Kingston, 62, of Natick, holds a record for one of the longest matches for the MetroWest region. His reason for doing it? Making a new friend.

“I was a big brother before and I decided that after a couple of years, I’d do it again,” he said.

David Bird of Framingham, Kingston’s little brother, entered the program when he was 7 years old and had two big sisters and one big brother prior to being paired with Brian.

Kingston introduced Bird to the Boy Scouts, and he is already learning the ins and outs of being a responsible 13-year-old.

“They expect you to show up. It’s responsibility,” Bird said. “I have to have my book ready and be packed for campouts and show up on time.”

Mentors fill out an application, are interviewed and then have a criminal background check.

Once mentors are matched with a child by region and compatibility, the youth’s parents meet with the future big sibling.

On average, the mentors are encouraged to meet with their matches once a week for a minimum of an hour. However, very few hang out for that little time.

For Sue Halvorson of Ashland, and Sasha Neal of Framingham, hanging out over the 11 years they have been matched was just fun.

“It was totally different with Sasha. When she was younger, it was a lot easier to spend four or five hours a week wit …

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